These columns are just too short. I could write for hours on end. We were talking about repressed feelings last week. So have you been crying lately? I have. In my own practice I get a lot of sad people. Whenever they burst into tears, my own are triggered instantly as well. I used to try to push them back, because what "would they think of a crying therapist"? But I have decided to not care about that any more. On the one hand I keep telling everyone who comes to me to listen to their feelings and emotions, and on the other hand I'm repressing my own tears. So I dropped that habit. They (try to) show their feelings and I show mine. We must return to truthfulness, I like that word.

Truthfulness. Truth. Being real. What is real? To show who you are. That is real. Well, of course you do have to know who you are first, n'est-ce pas? Yes, I grant you that. A lot of people do not know who they are. I'll be the first to admit that until a couple of years ago I did not know who I was myself. Of course I knew my name and address. But those are but external things. To find out who you really are, to know what you feel and what you do and do not want. To find out what your particular goal is in this life, and what your talents are, you must return to the source. There we have the source again I spoke of a couple of weeks ago. You know, that source where newborn babies come from. That essence I mean. That source is silent. And if we try to describe the human being of our era it is all but silent. That human is talking, chatting, emailing and mobile phoning constantly. And when they don't, they are reading the paper, watching tv, listening to the radio or reading a magazine or a book. And if they are not doing any of those, they are thinking. It seems the human mind generates about 50 to 60 thousand thoughts, yes you read it correctly, a day. So if you think about that for a while you will understand that the silence I speak of is buried under an enormous amount of NOISE. If we could switch off this noise then we could get to the silence. A silence which feels so good and which gives us a sense of such deep relaxation that we will start to feel whole. Because we are not whole. We do carry the memory of wholeness. It is stored in our cells. Remember I told you about the two sides of the brain, we do not use them equally, so we are not whole. Why do you think so many addictions exist? People are feeling an emptiness, something is missing in their lives, they do not feel whole, so they try to fill up that feeling of emptiness. They are on a search for fulfilment, alas the way they go about it is not a way which in the end will give them satisfaction, that is why they continuously smoke more, drink more, eat more, fill in any addiction. But it does not make them feel good. They are searching for something, but they have forgotten what they are looking for.

Help! This column is getting too long, to be continued next week, dear fellow-searcher.
Martine Clausen

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